Sorry blogger.

I'm actually starting to feel like a creep, writing my life story on a blog. And I'm a little mad at myself for staying up so late last night writing. I really don't have the ability to lose that much sleep over this kind of thing right now. If I get sick, I won't be able to properly recover. I can't risk missing more soccer, and missing school is too much work. Plus I'll probably have to stay up late tonight to work on an essay and a take-home test. I told one of my friends about being mad at myself for that and he told me to get a life. If I didn't have a life, I couldn't write about it. I guess this blog is a bit of an interruption in my life story, but digging into all those memories is a little tiring. Drunk boy's phone died, so I have to wait for him to get home and plug it in to talk to him about this. I really feel a draw to finish this blogging thing, but I don't know how much time I have. And I don't want to spend every minute of my free time typing on a blog site.
I miss my English class. There's an amazing ex-marine teacher at my school who teaches English, and I had his class for the first time last semester. Not only was it a great class, but it really forced me to think about a lot of things going on in my life. He would assign us journals that were a little personal sometimes, but we all trusted him and just wrote our pure, unedited thoughts. That's kind of why I'm doing a blog. I figured out that writing down my thoughts can be a cathartic experience. Once I get them all out there, they don't have to be in my head anymore. This blog is really more for my own benefit than for anyone else who may make a sideways glance at my page. Sure, drunk boy is reading them, but so far, I haven't really typed anything on here that is any more personal than the things I've already told him. It's a lot more difficult to just let go of my pride and write EVERYTHING than I thought. I keep finding myself thinking, "nah he'll think I'm a creep" or, "better not write that, it might hurt someone's feelings." And with a lot of things, that automatic doubting is good. I was a little pissed at get-a-life boy's insult this morning and I almost bitched about him on here. Though it might have helped, none of it would be genuine. I want to be able to write any and all of my thoughts on here, but only if they're honestly what I believe.